Absurdity-Observer-July-2026

Absurdity Observer – July 2026

The Liberal government has just quietly passed Bill C-30, a law that rewrites Canada’s pesticide rules so that Cabinet can override Health Canada’s decisions in the name of “food security” or “economic security.” Meaning, banned pesticides deemed too risky by federal health officials can still be used on Canadian crops if politicians decide.

“Cow-free” lab-grown milk protein may be coming to Canadian grocery stores soon. In 2024, Canada approved the sale of Remilk synthetic milk proteins—an animal-free dairy protein made by genetically engineered microorganisms instead of cows—and it is expected to launch in North America by the end of this year! Meanwhile, a new peer-reviewed study on a similar precision-fermented “milk” product is raising red flags for the broader synthetic-dairy category. The Scientific Reports study (Velamuri et al.) found 93 unidentified fermentation compounds, 236 fungal proteins, in addition to far fewer nutrients than cow’s milk.

Order Paper documents show Prime Minister Mark Carney’s in-flight catering tab hit $524,815.04—enough to cover nearly 30 years of food for a family of four, based on Canada’s Food Price Report 2026.

Ontario taxpayers paid nearly $200,000 for a private jet the government no longer owns. After receiving intense backlash for buying a $28.9-million Bombardier Challenger 650 for Premier Doug Ford’s travel, the province reversed course and sold it back—but not before racking up almost $200,000 in non-refundable legal, maintenance, and aviation-related costs.

Canada has introduced what critics are calling a new censorship bill. Bill C-34, the Safe Social Media Act, would create a federal speech commission to decide whether online platforms are doing enough to keep Canadians “safe.” The bill would force all Canadians to surrender their private data to access social media, and will create financial incentives for AI companies to disclose private, law-abiding conversations to police. Companies that don’t comply will be severely penalized by up to 3% of a company’s global annual revenue or $10 million, whichever is greater.

Scientists have now tested the first-ever AI-designed coronavirus vaccine in humans. The experimental shot, developed at Cambridge, is meant to train the body against future coronaviruses that may or may not ever become a real threat.

In a bill designed to be more inclusive of LGBTQ+ couples, New York lawmakers are proposing replacing the terms “mother” and “father” in state law with “gestating parent” and “non-gestating parent.” The legislation (Bill 9316), now awaiting Governor Kathy Hochul’s decision, would also replace “paternity” with “parentage.”

As riders continue asking for working escalators and trains that actually arrive on time, the TTC is tackling what it apparently sees as the real crisis: “decolonizing wayfinding.” A proposal made in collaboration with the TTC’s “diversity department” presented at a Toronto City Council meeting on June 3rd explored replacing standard alphanumeric station navigation with Indigenous-inspired animal symbols at entrances and exits “to respect Indigenous culture.”

Former Prime Minister Justin Trudeau shared the stage with central bankers, the Bank for International Settlements, BlackRock, Visa, and Mastercard, at Mexico’s 89th Banking Convention, where speakers discussed the “future of money” and proposed ways to “phase out cash,” by making digital payments mandatory for things like gas stations and toll roads. Apparently, the future of freedom lies in governments and global financial giants deciding that cash—not control—is the real problem.

The Environmental Working Group reports that out of 16 sunscreen ingredients reviewed by the FDA, only zinc oxide and titanium dioxide are considered “generally recognized as safe and effective.” Meanwhile, 12 other common sunscreen chemicals—including oxybenzone, homosalate, octisalate, octocrylene, avobenzone, and octinoxate—still lack enough safety data, even though FDA studies show they can be absorbed into the bloodstream after use.

Canadians don’t get to opt out of the census—or get compensated for filling it out—yet organizations can buy a $10,000 annual subscription to Statistics Canada’s full collection of anonymized census microdata.

A widely cited 2021 Toxicology Reports article titled “Vaccines and Sudden Infant Death” (Miller et al.) has been retracted—not because the data was wrong, but because the “inferred correlation” was unacceptable. The paper analyzed 30 years of Vaccine Adverse Events Reporting System (VAERS) reports and found infant deaths were most often reported in the days immediately following vaccination—a bright red safety signal sitting in plain sight. But instead of demanding a deeper investigation, the journal pulled the paper.

The US Supreme Court has ruled 7–2 that Bayer, formerly Monsanto, cannot be held liable under state failure-to-warn laws for not putting a cancer warning on Roundup when the Environmental Protection Agency did not require one. The decision could shut down thousands of lawsuits, even after Bayer has already paid billions to settle previous Roundup claims.

Another “conspiracy theory” confirmed to be true: Newly declassified US intelligence documents released by former Director of National Intelligence, Tulsi Gabbard, now confirm American taxpayers funded more than 120 biolabs in over 30 countries—including Ukraine, where at least one US-funded lab was reportedly assessed as storing dangerous pathogens during wartime. “Despite the obvious potential for catastrophic global impact… entities within the Biden administration’s national security team lied to the American people about the existence of US-funded and supported biolabs, and threatened those who attempted to expose the truth,” Gabbard said in a press release on her last day as director of national intelligence.

Vancouver police are now the first in Canada to launch rooftop “Drone as First Responder” systems—drones that can be sent to a scene before officers arrive and stream live video back to command. The drones are part of a broader surveillance rollout that also includes live-streaming body cams, AI translation, and cruisers with automatic licence-plate readers.

The US Department of Justice has just announced the largest health care fraud takedown in its historycharging 455 defendants, including 90 doctors and other licensed medical professionals, in alleged schemes involving more than $6.5 billion in false claims. The allegations include kickbacks, fake diagnoses, unnecessary treatments, prescription drug diversion, hospice fraud, wound-care billing schemes, and Medicaid exploitation.