Absurdity-Observer-August-2026
Absurdity Observer – August 2026
- Ontario’s “Elbows Up” campaign has now cost taxpayers $8 million to store American liquor that the LCBO already paid for, and roughly 3.3% of the stockpile—$2.6 million worth—has expired or passed its shelf-life date while sitting in warehouses.
- According to 2025 government records obtained by the Canadian Taxpayers Federation, Canada Post paid managers and executives $30.8 million in bonuses for the same year it booked a record $1.6-billion loss and took a billion-dollar taxpayer loan.
- Canada Post may be surviving on taxpayer life support—but it still has funds to pay for feminizing nose jobs! Under agreements signed June 18, 2026, the plan reimburses 80% of eligible gender-affirming-care expenses, subject to a $15,000 lifetime limit. While provincial plans generally fund approved genital and chest surgeries, Canada Life—the postal plan’s administrator—lists facial feminization or masculinization surgeries, Adam’s apple reduction, laser hair removal, hair transplants, liposuction, body-contouring procedures, pectoral implants (and more) among treatments covered under their workplace plans.
- Canada now treats affirming an alleged child abuser’s gender identity as more important than accurately recording the suspect’s sex. Statistics Canada just classified the alleged sexual assaults of two young girls—one just four years old—as female crimes, despite the accused, Cédric Grégoire, now known as Emma Grégoire, being a biological male who identifies as a woman. Under Bill C-16 and provincial human-rights codes, Statistics Canada says police must record suspects’ self-identified gender—a practice that has placed crimes committed by biological males in female statistics since 2018.
- A Brazilian couple has been sentenced to 50 days in prison for homeschooling the “wrong” curriculum, with the court citing classical piano as evidence of “intellectual neglect.” Among the court’s concerns were the curriculum’s alleged failure to include gender, sexuality, tolerance and diversity programming, and the daughters’ preference for sacred and classical music over popular genres.
- FDA says don’t worry about all those toxic metals found in tampons. After a 2024 peer-reviewed study found lead, arsenic, cadmium, and other metals in every tampon product it tested, the US Food and Drug Administration has now finished conducting its own investigation, concluding that, although these metals are present, the amount actually released during use is too low to pose a health risk. Critics question how reassuring those findings really are, since the FDA based its conclusions on laboratory simulations rather than testing metal release in actual menstrual fluid. The agency also relied on toxicological models in the absence of direct human studies measuring long-term vaginal absorption of these metals. It also didn’t disclose the six brands it tested and deemed “safe.”
- An Iranian observational study found that two rare, ultrasound-detected congenital anomalies occurred more frequently among pregnancies exposed to adjuvant-based COVID-19 vaccination in the first 12 weeks of pregnancy. The congenital abnormalities, atrioventricular septal defects and cleft palate, occurred in 8 of the 262 vaccinated first-trimester pregnancies, compared to none of the 303 unvaccinated first-trimester pregnancies.
- According to the US’s Countermeasures Injury Compensation Program (CICP) data, more than 14,000 COVID-vaccine-related claims have been filed, yet only 62 have resulted in compensation as of July 1, 2026. 5,736 claims were denied for missing the 1-year deadline (often due to diagnosis delays or missing health records), 1,736 were denied for failing to meet established criteria, and 6,562 claims are still pending.
- Newly released emails show that in April 2021, senior National Institutes of Health (NIH) officials worried that vaccine injuries may cause “hesitancy” and discussed burying the research. Emails released after ICAN sued the NIH under freedom-of-information laws show senior NIH officials discussing neurological problems reported after COVID-19 vaccination—but their stated concern was that publishing the research might fuel “vaccine hesitancy” and social-media backlash—not the actual vaccine harm itself. One official reportedly asked why the research was not simply “shut down.”
- All ~130 million mobile lines in Mexico must now be associated with Mexico’s new biometric national ID system, “CURP Biométrica,” which includes facial images, fingerprints and iris scans. Suspensions for phone lines not unregistered with their CURP ID begin August 15th.
- Canada lost a record 120,000+ people to emigration last year—the largest outflow in Canadian history and nearly double the number from a decade ago. And the country isn’t just losing residents; it’s losing some of its highest-bracket taxpayers too. A Bank of Canada staff paper estimates that at least 40% of Canadians whose earning ability would place them in the top 1% now live outside the country.
- The Fraser Institute estimates that the average Canadian family’s tax burden consumes 42.3% of its income.
- Ottawa paid federal executives $146.3 million in bonuses and performance pay last year—an average of $18,316 among recipients, or 10.7% of their salaries. An astonishing 98.1% of eligible executives qualified. The Treasury Board defended the payouts as fair and proportionate while the cabinet told Canadians “these are tough times.”
- Canada recorded more deaths than births in the first quarter of 2026—only the fifth such quarter in the country’s recorded history, all occurring since 2022. Just a decade earlier, births exceeded deaths by more than 22,000 during the same three-month period.
- A Bloomberg analysis has found that wholesale power prices at grid points near major AI data-center clusters rose by as much as 267% over five years.
- Britain now has a bold new way to make its internet laws global: fine an American website and enlist American authorities to collect. The UK’s communications regulator, Ofcom, hit US-based 4chan with a £520,000 penalty for refusing British-mandated age checks, and for refusing to make content-risk assessments and changes to its terms of service, then said recovering the unpaid debt may involve local law enforcement and courts where the company has assets—in this case, America. 4chan, which has no staff, servers, or assets in Britain, replied with an AI-generated giant hamster.
- Canada Day gets “decolonized”: The BC Teachers’ Federation produced and distributed a K–12 social-justice calendar that marks July 1 not as Canada Day, but as “Land Back Day.”
- A BC NDP “anti-hate” advertisement is getting attention online because all of the actors playing hate-crime offenders are white, while all the other actors are racial or sexual minorities.
- Police counted “church hugs” through binoculars. During the lockdowns, Santa Clara County reportedly geofenced a church, spied on worshippers and had officials use binoculars to count hugs—to help build a case to justify imposing more than $4 million in fines on its pastor. Nothing says “public health” like government hug surveillance.
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