Absurdity Observer – September 2026
Australia has launched a mass vaccination campaign—for penguins. Wildlife officials in Victoria are catching and vaccinating more than 5,000 wild little penguins at Phillip Island and St Kilda against H5 bird flu, in what authorities describe as one of the largest wild-bird vaccination programs of its kind. Each penguin requires two shots about four weeks apart, meaning thousands of birds must be caught, checked, microchipped, jabbed, released, and then caught all over again for the booster. So far, only two penguins in all of Australia have tested positive for H5 bird flu (one in Victoria and one in Tasmania).
The RCMP’s 2022 Freedom Convoy blacklist was given to private corporations. Years after learning that the RCMP shared personal information on 62 people and 17 businesses with financial institutions, which contributed to bank accounts being frozen, newly obtained records show that Ontario regulators then circulated the list to 1,000–2,000 brokerages and firms.
According to Forbes, Elon Musk became the first trillionaire in human history this summer, with his fortune briefly topping $1 trillion after SpaceX went public.
Saskatchewan’s Bill 55—a bill that gives the province’s doctors’ regulator new powers to investigate, compel records from, and prosecute people who aren’t even doctors—has officially passed. The law combines sweeping enforcement powers with an already broad definition of practising medicine—meaning it could potentially be used against alternative practitioners, innovators, researchers, and others working outside the boundaries of the conventional medical system.
Saskatoon just spent nearly $300,000 to create three giant plastic rocks (that look like real rocks) for two parks and a landfill.
According to research by SecondStreet.org, Atlantic Canada’s health authorities have accumulated $41.69 million in unpaid medical bills from visitors and non-residents since 2020. That is on top of nearly $40 million in Manitoba and more than $200 million in British Columbia.
Canadian Taxpayers Federation reports that, after taxpayers covered VIA Rail’s $376-million operating loss in 2025, the Crown corporation still handed out $10.3 million in bonuses. All eight executives received an average bonus of $115,293 each.
Ottawa paid federal executives $146.3 million in bonus-style pay last year—even as the government admits the bureaucracy has become “top-heavy.” Treasury Board records show 7,987 executives—98.1% of those eligible—received performance pay in 2024–25, averaging $18,316 per recipient, or about 10.7% of salary.
Conservative MP Mike Dawson, who gained notoriety earlier this year for refusing to accept his automatic salary increase (from $209,800 to $217,700), now has to fight the House of Commons in Federal Court over his attempt to reject the pay hike. The House argues it would be illegal for Parliament not to pay him the raise—and administratively inconvenient to make an exception.
Former National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID) adviser David Morens has pleaded guilty to conspiring to defraud the United States after admitting he and others deliberately used his personal Gmail account to conceal government communications from FOIA requests. The hidden discussions involved efforts to restore EcoHealth Alliance’s terminated bat-coronavirus research grant—which had funded work at the Wuhan Institute of Virology—and to counter the lab-leak narrative.
Newly released government texts show that Dr. Fauci publicly told Americans they had found “no red flags” regarding COVID vaccination in pregnant women just 9 days after privately messaging about potential miscarriage risks. In early 2021, NIAID Director Anthony Fauci warned the CDC Director via text that, based on what was told by the head of NIAID’s Vaccine Research Center, the cytokine response associated with the shot theoretically “could be associated with miscarriage in the first trimester” only 9 days before his announcement.
After years of telling Americans to “follow the science,” Anthony Fauci suddenly had very little to say under oath. At a July 29 Senate hearing examining COVID origins, gain-of-function research and his pandemic-era conduct, the former NIAID director invoked his Fifth Amendment right against self-incrimination 111 times, declining to answer nearly every substantive question.
The US FDA has approved the world’s first mRNA flu vaccine. MFLUSIVA by Moderna is now approved for adults 50+.
Newly released Department of Energy records confirm Bill Gates held a “Q” security clearance—the agency’s equivalent of Top Secret, capable of authorizing access to highly classified nuclear information—from 2014 to 2021. The clearance was “reciprocally granted,” meaning another federal agency had already cleared him—but the records don’t say which agency, why Gates needed it, or whether he accessed classified information.
As of July 7, 2026, every new car and van registered in the EU must come equipped with a system that monitors whether the driver is paying attention. The Advanced Driver Distraction Warning system now required in every new vehicle in the EU tracks where the driver is looking and must issue visual, plus audible or physical warnings when their gaze stays off the road for too long.
Brampton, Ontario has quietly built Canada’s first citywide intersection surveillance network, placing 250 cameras at just 50 intersections. The system includes 50 panoramic 360-degree cameras and 200 automated licence-plate readers that provide Peel Regional Police—and potentially other law-enforcement agencies—with real-time footage, licence plate numbers and vehicle make, model and colour.
Edmonton Police are encouraging residents to report “hate”—even when no crime has been committed. The law enforcement agency’s own website says a “hate-motivated incident” can be a non-criminal action, including racial comments, slurs or offensive symbols, and says every report will be reviewed by Hate Crime investigators.
A Brazilian influencer has been sentenced to two years in prison for misgendering an official. Bianca Barreto was also ordered to pay R$20,000 in damages after a Brazilian court ruled that deliberately referring to transgender federal deputy Duda Salabert using masculine terms constituted transphobia.











