Absurdity-Observer-May-2026
Absurdity Observer – May 2026
- Ontario Premier Doug Ford purchased a $28.9 million taxpayer-funded luxury jet—one that would easily fit how his brother would define a “gravy plane.” While residents were told to brace for tight budgets and strained services, the premier opted for a Bombardier Challenger 650—a high-end executive aircraft typically used by high-net-worth travellers, featuring a spacious stand-up cabin, seating for up to 12 passengers, and upscale interiors with onboard entertainment. After a large public outcry, Ford announced that he “heard loud and clear” and re-sold the jet back to Bombardier for the same price because “I’m the premier that listens to the people.”
- Ontario Premier Doug Ford has passed a bill that effectively blocks access to freedom-of-information requests targeting him and his cabinet, including communications and decision-making records. The changes are retroactive, so those who have waited years for answers will now get nothing.
- Canada’s foreign affairs ministry records reveal the department spent $59,000 to decorate its consulate in Milan, Italy with “artwork,” The Canadian Taxpayers Federation reports.
- Statistics Canada data shows that 120,000 Canadians moved to a foreign country in 2025, 55% of whom were “mid-career professionals in peak-earning years.” The data also shows that doctors, engineers, and scientists are leaving Canada at double the rate of low-skilled workers.
- A whopping $1.1 billion in Canada Child Benefit payments went to temporary residents in 2025, according to House of Commons data.
- The federal government spent ~$9.5 million on advertising campaigns in French-speaking countries to promote immigration to Canada, according to figures from the Department of Immigration. The federally funded advertising campaign started in 2022 and focused primarily on African countries.
- Canada’s troubled Vaccine Injury Support Program has been quietly scrapped and rebranded as the Vaccine Impact Assistance Program—a shift that removes the phrase “vaccine injury” from the public lexicon and does little to fix the program’s failures. Launched in 2021 as a “no-fault” system, it has been plagued by years-long delays, poor communication, and stalled or denied claims. Of the $54 million allocated, roughly two-thirds went to administration, with only ~$21 million reaching injured individuals.
- A study published in the Journal of Law, Medicine & Ethics (Kohler et al.) found that 19 of the world’s major pharmaceutical companies have been implicated in at least one foreign bribery scheme—and not by rogue employees, but with approval from senior executives and regional directors. Payments were allegedly funneled through subsidiaries, shell companies, and third-party vendors to appear legitimate.
- Toronto psychiatrist, Dr. Celeste Thirlwell, has had her medical licence revoked after Ontario’s physician regulator ruled she issued hundreds of COVID-19 exemption letters (including mask exemptions, PCR test exemptions, and vaccine exemptions) that did not meet its standards.
- The Canadian Media Guild—the union representing CBC employees—is now openly calling for more taxpayer funding while also urging Ottawa to restrict legal online speech it deems “harmful.” Appearing before the Commons heritage committee, the union argued that journalists face an “overwhelming” level of online “toxicity”—and that the answer is government intervention in what Canadians are allowed to say on platforms like Facebook, X, and Instagram.
- The City of Toronto is now using a “Tree Equity Score Analyzer” to decide where trees get planted—factoring in race and income. What was once a straightforward environmental goal—plant trees where they’re needed most—is being reshaped into a demographic formula that effectively deprioritizes some neighbourhoods based on who lives there.
- The University of British Columbia is advertising a job position for its Canada Research Chair in forestry, but the opening is restricted only to applicants who “self-identify as disabled,” with clear preference for those who also identify as indigenous, “racialized,” or as a woman. In other words, straight, white men need not apply.
- A Canadian Member of Parliament, Leah Gazan, just dropped the longest victim acronym in Canadian history: MMIWG2SLGBTQQIA+ (Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women, Girls, Two-Spirit, Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Asexual). Gazan dropped this 16-character acronym while addressing parliament about budget cuts to these services.
- The federally funded 2026 Canada Summer Jobs Program is now openly telling employers to prioritize hiring based on race, “2SLGBTQI+” identity, and other “barriers”—while still calling it “equal opportunity.” On job postings tied to the program, applicants are told that “all youth are welcome to apply,” but that employers will prioritize candidates from these designated groups.
- Canada now classifies “deadnaming” (using a transgender person’s birth name) as “gender-based violence,” on Canada.ca’s webpage, classifying the offence as a violation of human rights.
- US officials allegedly detected a serious stroke signal—tied to Pfizer’s bivalent booster—then kept it under wraps while continuing to push more shots. A US Senate subcommittee led by Ron Johnson has released thousands of pages of HHS records suggesting the Biden administration was aware as early as November 2022 of a statistically significant risk of ischemic strokes following Pfizer’s bivalent booster.
- A study (Dlouhy et al.) measuring NT-proBNP (a marker of heart damage) post-mRNA COVID-19 vaccination in healthy military adults found that 49% of participants exhibited a relative increase of this biomarker exceeding 1.5 times their individual baseline. “This biomarker response may reflect transient myocardial stress [after vaccination]” the researchers wrote.
- Dr. Helmut Sterz, Pfizer’s former chief toxicologist, just admitted to a German Parliamentary Committee that an estimated 60,000 people have died in Germany from Pfizer’s mRNA COVID-19 vaccine.
- Academic Frances Widdowson, known for her work exposing myths around the Kamloops Residential School’s “unmarked graves”, has been pre-emptively banned from the University of Lethbridge, with officials citing a vague “health and safety risk” her presence may pose to students and staff.
- A long-term Finnish study (Ruuska et al.) that tracked nearly 2,100 youth seeking help for gender dysphoria and found something the “affirmation” model isn’t supposed to produce: worse mental health in adolescents who underwent medical gender reassignment. Rates of depression, anxiety, and other psychiatric morbidities surged by 6 times for “male to female” patients and 2.5 times for “female to male” patients. One of the study’s authors, Dr. Riittakerttu Kaltiala, a psychiatrist who founded one of Finland’s two pediatric gender clinics in 2011, has since publicly warned that the model she once advanced can cause harm.
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