Absurdity Observer May 2024


Illustration by wokelycorrect.com

Absurdity Observer – May 2024

  • Secret geo-engineering project revealed: In a supposed effort to stop global warming, researchers from the University of Washington have launched trillions of salt particles into the atmosphere with the intent of blocking sunlight from earth.  According to the New York Timesthe organizers didn’t widely announce this experiment because they were “concerned that critics would try to stop them.” The concept of blocking the sun isn’t anything new. Back in 2022, a company called Make Sunsets launched a weather balloon that released toxic sulfur dioxide into the air to block the sun.
  • Canada’s Public Health Agency auctioned off brand new ventilators, valued at just over $22,000 each, for only $6 for scrap metal, according to Blacklock’s Reporter. Out of the 40,000 ventilators Health Canada purchased at the height of the plandemic, only 500 were ever used.
  • The Canadian Federal Government destroyed 74M doses—worth $2.1 billion—almost a third of all COVID-19 vaccine doses that have been received as of yet. A report released on April 8th by Public Services and Procurement Canada says a total of $10.6 billion for 353.5 million doses were purchased through advanced purchase agreements—enough to vaccinate every Canadian over eight times—but nearly half of those dose have either been forfeited, donated, destroyed, or have yet to make it into inventory.

Don’t lose touch with uncensored news!  Join our mailing list today.

  • Îles-de-la-Madeleine in the Gulf of St. Lawrence has become the first municipality in Canada to officially require a QR code to enter and leave. After an outpouring of criticism from the town’s residents, officials say that the requirement of a QR code to enter or leave the archipelago will apply to all tourists and that residents must show their driver’s license to enter or leave. This change coincidentally comes within months of Trudeau completing his $40 million pledge to the archipelago’s fisheries.
  • Kraft Heinz spokesperson says to ignore high lead levels found in Lunchables since the product is nutritious. Consumer Reports called on the US Department of Agriculture to remove Lunchables from the US National School Lunch Program after finding “high levels of lead” in the kits—an element known to cause developmental delays in children. In defense of their product, a Kraft Heinz spokesperson stated that, “the classification of foods should be based on scientific evidence that includes an assessment of the nutritional value of the whole product, not restricted to one element.”
  • More than a year’s worth of rain fell in a day on the Arabian Peninsula, one of the world’s driest regions, after a suspected UAE cloud seeding experiment. According to initial reports by Bloomberg, Ahmed Habib, a specialist meteorologist at the National Center of Meteorology in the UAE, admitted that his center conducted a “cloud seeding” experiment (a method of stimulating precipitation by injecting clouds with tiny particles that moisture can attach to—those droplets then merge and multiply) daily preceding the storm. Bloomberg has since retracted that part of their report, and now blames climate change for the France-sized storm.
  • In the latest example of growing authoritarianism, a new Scottish law criminalizes the “stirring up of” hatred against some groups—even when they cause no actual harm and are not intended to incite a specific act. Scotland’s law, enacted last week, makes it an imprisonable offense (for up to 7 years) to incite hatred on the basis of race, religion, transgender identity, sexual orientation, age or disability—but does not cover hatred on the basis of a person’s sex. The law covers private conversations, even within the home. Within weeks of being enacted, police say that they have been overwhelmed by the number of reports, and numerous stories of innocent people being arrested have emerged. This includes the story of 74-year-old Morag McDougall Brown who was left traumatized after being arrested when a neighbor accused her of yelling an ableist slur out her window while the neighbor was stealing from her garden.
  • Most children who are not happy with their natural gender grow out of it, landmark 15-year study concludes. The researchers, from the University of Groningen in the Netherlands, analyzed the data of 2,770 people from age 11 to their mid-twenties and found a 64% decrease in “gender non-contentedness” over the course of 15 years. Despite this, “gender affirming” medications and surgeries continue to be offered to children around the world.
  • The FDA has detected a safety signal for seizures in young children following mRNA COVID-19 vaccination, according to a study published in JAMA (Journal of the American Medical Association) (Hu et al.). Researchers found that children aged 2-5 who received an mRNA vaccine were far more likely to have a febrile seizure within a day of receiving a shot. This study’s results are similar to the results of a medRxiv preprint study published last month (Forshee et al.), also funded by the FDA.
  • Young people who received multiple COVID-19 jabs were significantly more likely to die than those who skipped the shots, according to data from the UK’s Office for National Statistics (ONS) (dataset: Deaths by vaccination status, England). An analysis by The Exposé revealed that the youngest age group in the data set, those ages 18 to 39 yo, who received four doses of a COVID vaccine were 256% more likely to die when compared to their unvaccinated counterparts.
  • A new WEF report says 98% of the world’s central banks are looking into eliminating cash and implementing CBDCs (Central Bank Digital Currencies). The World Economic Forum released a report on 16 April claiming 98 per cent of the world’s central banks, including the US Federal Reserve and the Bank of Canada, are either researching, piloting, or have already started to deploy the globalists’ long-awaited dream of a cashless society.
  • Some RBC banks are going cashless. RBC has started to switch several banks over into “cash at atm only” banks – where the bank tellers do not handle any customer cash and instead are there to help with “other banking needs.”
  • Researchers link mass mRNA vaccination to estrogen-sensitive cancers. A Japanese study published in Cureus (Gibo et al.) evaluated how age-adjusted mortality rates for different types of cancer in Japan changed during the COVID-19 plandemic (2020-2022) and the results were startling. The researchers found that, in 2022, there was a statistically significant increase in age-adjusted mortality rates of all cancers, particularly in estrogen-sensitive cancers (breast and ovarian cancer), as well as leukemia, prostate, oropharyngeal, and pancreatic cancers. Additionally, the team observed no significant excess in all-cause mortality during the first year of the plandemic (2020), but did find excess all-cause mortality in subsequent years.
  • “Coutts Trio” found guilty of mischief for their role in the 2022 Freedom Convoy border protest in Coutts, Alberta. Alex Van Herk, Marco Van Huigenbos, and George Janzen were charged with “mischief over $5,000” by the RCMP, who suggested the three were “key participants” of the Coutts blockade. They face up to 10 years in jail.
  • Ontario resident who wants both a vagina and penis wins public funding for unique surgery. A court has ruled Ontario must pay for a penis-sparing vaginoplasty for a person who identifies as neither fully female nor fully male. Denying the procedure would infringe on the person’s Charter-protected right to security of the person, an Ontario court said in its ruling.
  • The BC government has introduced legislation to prevent protests around schools. While the new legislation is aimed to “keep kids safe and focused on their education by preventing disruptive behaviour” the BC government ironically continues to place social issues, such as gender identity, inside the classroom.
  • Trudeau government announces “halal mortgages”as a means to enable Muslim Canadians to further participate in the housing market. Sharia-compliant mortgages include payment structures that take interest out of the equation—since paying interest is considered immoral in the Muslim faith.
  • No evidence COVID-19 vaccines stopped transmission when authorized, Federal Government confirms. The Health Minister’s representative in the House of Commons has now confirmed that “at the time of initial authorization of the first COVID-19 vaccines… there was no reported evidence on the efficacy of the authorized COVID-19 vaccine to prevent asymptomatic infection, to reduce viral shedding, or to prevent transmission.” Despite this admission, public health messaging suggested that herd immunity was only achievable through mass vaccination.